An unlikely pair of dates, A Kim Possible Oneshot
by kaiokken
Summary: Kim and Ron have a double date... with Drakken and Shego? A humorous night is in store... rated for some slight adult content... Please Read and Review...


(Gulp…) "You wore… the little black dress... she wore the little black dress…hee hee hee heeeee…" He said with his voice rising in pitch

"Hey… cut it out, you've seen me wear it before…" She grumbled, though smiling

"Yeah, but… it so…hee hee hee hee hee…" The smile was so wide it tried to split his face at the seams…

"Don't make knock you out…" She said sternly…

"I… think I'm… already there…(THUD!) hee hee hee heeeee" He slumped to the floor…

It happened every time Kim put on that little black dress. Ron would just go giddy… like you filled a room with laughing gas or something. He'd turn utterly stupid… not that she didn't like the unorthodox way of complimenting her, but every single time? She looked at him on the floor, though annoyed, was still visibly amused at his antics…

"Ron! You're gonna mess up your clothes… come on… "

"Hee hee hee hee hee…" Ron continued giggling as his eyes grew wider… but then his mouth too…

"Oooooohhhhh… um, WOW that dress is rea hee hee ly short…I could…"

(KICK) She gave him a neat little kick in his waist… she turned red at the realization of what he said… obviously embarrassed…

Ron's eyes met her fiery emerald ones as she sternly glared at him… he quickly got up and stood beside her, brushing off his pants…

(AHEM…) "Er… I'm sorry…" He said it in quite a dignified manner…

"I can go change it you kno"

"NOOOO!" Ron screamed and immediately did his version of the puppy dog pout… and it actually worked!

"Hee hee hee… ok…" Now Kim was giggling stupidly…

"AHA! My pout works!"

"Well not really… I thought it looked really comical…" Kim replied hoping it would throw him off… which worked…

Ron looked at her with large, sad eyes… almost in tears…

"What do you mean… comical?" Kim looked at him and rolled her eyes…

"Still not working…."

"DANG IT!" Ron screamed…

"Hey, you're dealing with a pro here… you're still a Joe."

"No I'm Ron… A thank you…"

"No I mean Average Joe…"

"Never heard of him…"

"RON!"

Ron laughed so hard, that tears were out of his eyes… Kim just stood there folding her arms…

"What's the sitch!"

"Ronnoyance…" He said still laughing…

"Who?" Kim asked confused…

"Nice try KP but I'm the Pro there…"

"RON!"

"OK… OK… You got your PDP and I can get you to do something by annoying you… Ronnoyance… perfect match…"

"That's you secret weapon? Oh, so la…" Ron cut her by a kiss to her nose… tickling it…

"Hey, I was trying to…"

(Kiss)

"Ron! That's really…"

(Kiss)

"Arrrgh! I'm gonna kick your…"

(Kiss)

That last one did it… Kim went mad chasing Ron around… Kim's leaping skills vs. Ron's evasive skills proved quite a good match up. But in the end, Kim got him… catching him squarely on the couch. She was breathing heavily…

"Wow… didn't know I could leave you breathless…"

"I should kick… wait, lemme catch my breath…" She took a few seconds… "As I was saying…"

(Kiss.)

He did it again… Kim was about to scream out of frustration, when Ron held her and drew her quickly into a deep kiss. Her eyes rolled up from how sweet it was. When they parted, she fell on his shoulder…

"Hee hee hee hee hee…." She lost it. She giggles uncontrollably. Ron couldn't help but laugh. After they regained her composure, they set up again.

"You know KP, you know what I really love about you?"

"What?"

"You…"

She blushed. Ron had his moments of doing her that and it always caught her off guard. She just stood there admiring her man, caressing his face…

"You're not too bad yourself partner…" She said in a Texas accent…

"Yeah… anyway, you look great. It just amazes me every time you wear that dress that I go gaa gaa…"

"Too gaa gaa…"

"Three gaa gaa?" He said comically…

"Don't push it…" She replied sternly…

"Sorry… Oh we're gonna be late for the date!" He said worriedly…

"And who's fault was that?"

"The little black dress…"

"Me? You're" Ron cut her off…

"Correction… the little black dress did it ALL by itself…"

"The mad house isn't far you know…" She chastised…

"Is it closer or farther than the restaurant?"

"I think it's… farther…" Kim replied with a finger on her chin…

"Hmmm, better that we go to the restaurant… it's closer. Besides, our double dates are probably waiting for us…"

"Somehow, I doubt that…" Kim replied.

They made their was to a beautiful restaurant… called 'Edibles'. The name was corny yes, but nothing about it was in the sense, corny... but they did have corn onthe menu, as Ron was once quick to point out…which of course, caused Kim's eyes to roll again. A man at the entrance met them…

"Monsieur Stoppable… this way to your tables…"

He led them into the lavish interior. The décor was quite lovely… satin tablecloths on elegantly designed tables. The chairs were soft so relaxing to sit in… it made Lazy boy recliners feel like bar stools… that they did have as well by the way…

"I know… I know…" Kim said, covering Ron's mouth. She smiled at it. His comical antics always gave her something to smile about… which is another reason she loved him. He set her into her seat, while he sat in his own. Adjoining them was another table with the same setup… but they were empty.

"I guess we were early after all…" Ron stated…

"I told you I doubted this…" Kim replied.

"Cut them some slack… it's their first time, remember?" Ron chuckled…

"True… true. This actually should be interesting…"

Just as she said it, there was a commotion outside. Kim and Ron looked up, to see the usher, seemingly displeased, bringing in two well-dressed people… A blue man in a white suit and a green woman in a green dress… NO not a sad man and a Martian… it was Drakken and Shego…

What was that? Drakken and Shego you asked? Well, after they all saved the world, they agreed to at least do one double date… well, it was kinda the request of the world council after they saved it from the Lowardians. But this of course, proved to be a difficult thing… Drakken and Shego weren't how to put it… romantically inclined? Yeah… that's it… romantically inclined. Shego cared for Drakken, but wouldn't openly admit it. Drakken n the other hand did like Shego, but usually had to shut up at the sight of glowing green thingies on her hands…

"Monsieur, your seats…" The usher pointed to them. They looked at Kim and Ron a bit embarrassed…

"So, we're here. Let's just get this over with!" Shego blankly stated…

"Yes I have much work to do back at the lair… Besides, this pants is a little tight if you know what I mean…" Drakken said

Kim and Ron giggled at that statement. Shego watched him with a smirk…

"Well maybe if someone decided to let me choose what to wear for him, we wouldn't have that problem…" Shego said smiling

"Shego, you wanted me to wear a clown suit!"

"At least it would have help em breathe…" She laughed, looking down at Drakken's pants…

That had Team possible in stitches… this may actually be an interesting night…

"Oh thank you very much Shego. If that's how you want to do things... that dress is so lovely on you it makes your bu…"

Glowing hands abruptly cut the comment… "One peep about that and I'll down you for the count…"

"You just can't please her…" Drakken replied giving up.

And so, everyone ordered their meals. Lobster for Shego, Steaks for Kim and Ron, and Turkey with corn stuffing…then Drakken thought something amusing…

"Isn't is just amusing that this place has such a corny name but they…"

Kim and Shego both stared at Drakken, while Shego's hands covered his mouth…

"We know!" they said in unison.

After having their meals, they were enjoying some champagne. Now the main agreement was that nothing concerning their battles would come up tonight. This was strictly a date, though quite reluctantly so for Drakken and Shego. But she found something else to stir conversation…

"So, how'd you really do it?" taking a jab at Ron…

"Do what?" Ron said confused…

"You know… hook up with Kimmie here… it's not what you'd call an expected match…"

"Um, you mean like you and Dr. D?" Ron quickly jabbed back…

"Hey, hey, hey… how many times I gotta say it? There is nothing between me and Dr. 'D'…"

"But I wished it to…" Drakken mumbled…

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Um, err, I… hate you."

"So do I!" She blasted back at Drakken

"So is that the villain way of saying I love you?" Ron asked amused…

"Excuse me English lesson here. Love is love and hate is hate. Lesson concluded" Shego pointed out.

"But you two do make an interesting couple…" Kim stated…

"You hungry for dessert?" Shego blurted, holding up green fists…

"Ooh so you do love him… Ron was stoking the fire already there. Kim realized she could blow at any second…

"Ron, cut it out… she's serious…"

"Yes and besides… Shego couldn't tell you what love was if it were in a big blue ray and it hit her square between the eyes…" Drakken blasted…

Shego's fists flamed out. Her eyes widened… then turned to Drakken. She was truly in shock… that also took Kim and Ron by surprise…

"WHAT!" She took him by the shirt… " You couldn't show love if they made it into a book called Love for Dummies!"

"Actually, I did buy that book…" He replied, causing Kim and Ron to fight back laughter…"

"And it didn't do you a dang thing!" She retaliated.

Kim couldn't help it any more… neither could Ron. They both laughed uncontrollably. Shego let Drakken go and sat back down in her seat, folding her arms…

"I think I'm actually beginning to agree with Ron… you do love each other…" Kim said, still trying to stop laughing…

"She couldn't love me even if she tried… she's heartless. Besides, my life insurance doesn't cover me for love…"

"Neither being an idiot!" Shego said.

This was turning out to be a great date for Kim and Ron. Why watch a movie when the show is right in front of you? And a comedy to boot? They just held each other snickering… this of course made Shego madder…

"Oh, so like you're better at this? You're just as much an idiot as him!"

"Yeah but I'm her idiot…" Ron pointed to Kim, stating…

"Hey! You're not an idiot! You're my guy…" Kim retaliated.

"Which I still don't get…" Shego stared back.

"Well let's just say Ron had the feelings and the right words…"

"Yeah, right…"

"When there's feelings you find the right words so say…" Ron pointed out…

"Ah, I see… " Drakken was astounded…" He took Shego's hand…She snapped her head over to him, staring in surprise…

"Shego…"

"Dr D?"

"Love…" She watched him with her eyes beginning to widen…

"SPREAD EM AND LET'S MAKE EM!" He said romantically to her…

Well if you could have seen the sight… Everyone at the table except Drakken, was jaw dropped… but Kim and Ron were about to laugh like they never laughed before… Shego was about to blast Drakken like she never did before…

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" Shego just got angrier. Drakken looked totally confused…

"But wasn't that romantic enough for you?

(WHAM!) He probably spun about five times before he fell to the ground…

"Oh! Birrrrdies…. pretty birdies!" Drakken was out.

Team possible couldn't breathe. They were laughing so hard, thank goodness that they were really the only ones at the restaurant that evening. Ron had to hold down Kim's short dress from riding up just cause she was laughing so hard…

(Laughing) "I'll be back… I gotta use the ladies room…" Kim stated…

"That makes two of us!" Shego said angrily. The two women walked off. Ron still laughing, helped Drakken to his feet…

"Um, dude… you ok?

"Argh, my head… women… can't live with em…" Drakken groaned as he was helped back into his seat.

"Hey, you did that to yourself dude…" Ron pointed out

"You see why I love my hovercraft? At least it brings me back home!

"Man that was like the single wrongest pickup line I've ever heard…"

"Hey, I saw it in a movie once!"

"What kind of movie?"

"Um… well…" Drakken blushed…

"That's just wrong sick…"

"Hey I don't get out much… ok?

"I see that…"

Meanwhile, Kim was just out of the bathroom and freshening up. Shego was just at her sink grumbling…

"Um, you ok?" Kim asked her nemesis…

"Why the heck I even agree to this? I'd be better off just getting outta here!"

"You really do care about him, don't you?"

Shego just watched an icy glare to Kim, but she didn't relent. Eventually, she gave up.

"I guess I got no choice…"

"Please and thank you…"

Back at the table, Ron was speaking to Drakken…

"Man if you like her, just say it out aloud…"

"Oh and who gave you the book on how to speak to women?" Drakken blurted…

"Note Kim Possible… the girlfriend." Ron hit back.

"OK… point taken."

"Dude, we already know she cares about you…"

"Actually, it's more the pay…" Then an idea hit him… "AHA! I'll pay her to love me…"

"You really don't get out much, do you?" Ron asked sarcastically…

In the washroom, Shego finally admits that she has feelings for Drakken…

"I give up. Yeah… I do like Dr. D… but he's so…"

"Goofy?" Kim filled it in…

"I was going to say clueless…"

"Clueless?"

"Let's put it like this… He's got a big brain and yadda yadda yadda, but he can't even read between the lines for cryin out loud…"

"That's not Drakken's fault… that's just being a guy…"

Both ladies laughed at this…

"I'm still amazed the sidekick really made the move..."

"Well thanks to you two at that time with Eric, yeah…"

"What a day that was…"

"Let's not get into that shall we…"

"No problem princess…"

"The point is that Ron's no knight in shining armor… he's more like the dull, busted up one. Sometimes you can't even get him to read one line much less between em, but he's reason that I am who I am… and he's always been real with me… as well as a great boyfriend…"

At the table…

"Look man, just be real with her… tell her how you feel. And if that doesn't work, then just kiss her or something…"

"What good will that do you fool… she'll probably make me see more birds!"

"But you would have kissed her…"

"I like you style… Um… Stop…"

"Stoppable!" Ron said sternly, folding his hands…" Just then, the ladies could be seen walking back towards the table. Rona and Drakken held their drinks…

"So… missed us?" Kim asked the boys…

"We were about to put a missing persons list out for you two…" Ron said…

"Probably doing their makeup or something of the sort," Drakken added

The two ladies watched their respective dates, frowning as they sat… still looking into each guy's eyes…

"Well thank goodness… that's one good reason for being a man…here here…" Drakken raised his glass to Ron…

"Actually, make that two… you know… those days?" Ron raised his glass to meet Drakken's but he pulled it back… surprising Ron…

"No actually… what day is that?"

"You're kidding… Red Days?"

"Oh yes… that. Yes they get extra terrible around those times don't they? It's like they have an automatic moodulator or something…"

(DOUBLE WHAM!)

Many birds were seen around. They actually got so lost in that conversation, that they forgot the ladies were right there…

"Score one for the ladies…" Kim stated… giving a high five to Shego. But after a while, they just saw them lying on the floor and felt somehow sorry for them… Kim definitely… but unsurely Shego…

"We better help them…" Kim said, as they reached for their dates…

Ron opened his eyes to see Kim watching him sternly… He was watching her sadly…

"Ron? Are you ok?" He just nodded slowly…

"I forgive you…"

"COOL!" Ron flew up again… shocking Kim…

"You got me didn't you…"

"You may be the pro, but a Joe isn't always a Joe…" He said…

"Excuse me?" She asked…

"Joe… you know… pro's and Joe's…"

"I don't get it…"

"You're kidding me! You can't remember…" then realization caught him….

"Oooooooohhhhh you're good…" He pointed out to her catching him Ronnoyance style… Kim laughed a bit.

Ron just kissed her on the lips. Shego just stared at them in disbelief. She still couldn't believe they were doing it...

"Uh, earth to Kimmie and sidekick… get a room!".

The lovers parted, obviously a little embarrassed by Shego's comment. Just then, Drakken opened up his eyes…Shego was about to yell at him…

"And you! I don't know why I even came here in the first place. You think you could talk about a lady like tha"

Shocking every single person at the table… for all references, Kim, Ron and Shego, Drakken grabbed Shego and planted on her a monumental kiss. Shego began to get angry, flaring her fists… Drakken sweat bullets. But suddenly as her hands flared, they relented. Shego was officially lost in a kiss… stretching her hand to embrace Drakken. It may have gone on forever, if Kim had not said something….

"PSSSSSTTT! Love birds… get a room!" Which made her and Ron laugh… cause for blue and green people they sure looked red!

"Um… ah… look at the time, we should get going…" Drakken said quickly grabbing Shego…

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm suddenly not feeling well…"

"OH NO! THAT MEANS YOU CAUGHT IT!" Ron screamed…

"What?" Drakken and Shego both asked… Ron had tears in his eyes before he blurted it out in laughter…"

"COOOTIEESSS HAHAHAHAHA!! Hey, stop off by the drug store before you get home ok?"

That made Kim laugh uncontrollably. Drakken turned his head to the sky and took Shego along…

"Let's leave these simpletons here and get back…we have much to talk about…"

"It better not be about making love by 'spread em and let's make em'…" Shego said back…

"How do you make it? Do we have to stop at the store or something? What ingredients does it use?"

"Oh brother…"

That was the last thing that was heard from the couple before they exited the restaurant… Kim looked at Ron, still snickering from this night. It was like nothing they ever seen before. But it was time for them to leave as well…

" We gotta do that again…" Kim said enthusiastically…"

"Ooh yeah! That was fun!" Ron said…

"So… what now? She asked…

"Hmmm… I was wondering… how do you make love…

"Ah, well that's easy… you take one part Kim Possible and one part Ron Stoppable, then…"

"Spread your legs and make em?" Ron said with a grin…

"Don't make me hurt you Stoppable…"

"Hey… stick and stones may break my bones but whips and chains aro"

"RON!" She watched him in total surprise…she was about to yell at him, when he caught her in his own monumental kiss…

"Hee hee hee hee hee heeeeeeeeeeee" Kim giggles stupidly…

"Ok that just sounds so wrong when you do it…" Ron claimed…

"Better the girl be girly don't you think?"

She put her hand around his waist and they headed off…

"Ron?"

"Yeah KP?"

"Thanks for a wonderful date…"

"A date's not a date without you…"

* * *

Author's Note: I hope you like this one... I had a good laugh out of it...


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